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Let's presume the following setup, that you are running your XMPP server and Federation extension behind a NAT and are trying to federate with acmewave.com:

We will also presume that the wave XMPP service is running at wave.example.com.

First, acmewave.com needs to be able to look up your server via DNS, so you will need to configure A records for example.com and wave.example.com that point to your server. How you set that up is particular to your ISP and domain name provider so we can't give detailed instructions on how to set this up, but there is a command line program to use to determine if you do have it set up correctly: dig. You can run dig and if each of the following return a good IP address then you are in good shape (substitute in your domain name on the command line).
quote{{
$ dig +short -t A example.com
72.148.43.48
$ dig +short -t A wave.example.com
72.148.43.48
}}quote

Note that you need both your domain name, and the wave sub-domain to resolve via DNS.